Why do I say the things I do?

Let me just start by saying, I don't know why I say the things I say. I was on my lunch break from work, and traffic is backed up. Were doing 30 under the speed limit, and i ume its the giant dump-truck in front holding everyone up. But, no. It was an elderly couple, who looked to be fresh on the retirement wagon. Not only were they old... They had a god damn golden retriever too. Could I pick better couple to pick on? So im getting pretty impatient, so i p through the median. They pull up beside me and start yelling, "Geez, are you in a hurry?" so I reply," Well i wasn't until the oldest couple alive decided to drive 30 miles under the speed limit." elderly woman-" well good, cause your gonna kill somebody." and my lady-like rebutle..." You know what? ************!" Seriously what the hell is the matter with me? Illinois has brought my patience on the road to an all time low.